BLACK AND YELLOW

THERES A FIRE STARING IN MY HEART REACHING A FEAVER PITCH AND ITS BRINGING ME OUT THE DARK

BLACK AND YELLOW BITCHES

TTYLXOX

So i know that no one looks at this thing and i pray to god no one will untill i actually want someone to. but its kinda like an online journal for me to sit in my bed and type when im blasting glee music and maybe some ed sheeran and crying because im stressed about some not usually stressfull thing. like ok im failing two core subjects and its already the third out of four quarters so im fucking scared as hell so im trying to make my mom notice that i am trying but shes kinda .... annoying i could say and she doesnt really listen, like dont get me wrong shes a great mom and she loves me and she gives me a house and food and clothes and im not one of those white trash families im brougbt up well and really smart i just got so distracred with my phone that i scrued everything up, and im freaking out becuase my mom always asks me to bring my spanish home so we can study but i keep forgetting and she gets pissed but now that im writing this i remember that i have homework i forogot to hand in so maybe i could scribble out homework thing and then i could say that i didnt forget but i already told her and she is pretty dissapointed.. Right now one direction came on my phone.. Damn i love one direction. Holy bar tenders i love them so much, like im obsessed.... They always help like glee. its weird, im really protective over the things i like. Which i guess could sound normal but its like REALLY protective like their my best friends..(i wish) like my best friend was making fun of one direction and saying their vioces were so high only dogs could here their singing, and it made me so mad. Like first have you ever heard a song besides YDKYB ? Ugh. im such a mess. i just really want help with my stress and no one really understands, like yesterday the guidence councler pulled me in cuz my mom called about track (i will explain that later) and i started talking about everything and i felt a little better... this is actually really helping me im glad i have this... its more fun then writing because i dont really like my handwritingall the time.. and now jbs on.. it pisses me off when people insult him too, which is a lot. Im one of those fans where i guess you can say "its my way or the high way" as in you dont like my baby? Get out of my kitchen. Theres a directioner joke for you. Bamb. America dick yeah. Oh so kortneys boyfriend jared also pissed me off because he said the glees casts voices arent even that good even though ive heard them sing live 1000 times before, and he said Jenna Marbles/Moury isnt even funny. WTF?  like oh cool brb im just gonna get the wepon im using to murder you, and then laugh at your chalk outlines, and when the popo ask why im laughing, i willl just say thats how i cry. jokes on you bitch. well that was kinda weird, but no one will see this so its ok. i think im kinda obsessive, with like social media, because first  it was google +, now its instagram, and next when i get one/if i get one i will be obsessed with facebook i just know it. i dont really want a fb even though its like the new things, i dont want to be one of those 12 year olds that are like "out with my boo<3 6 month! xoxo happiest girl alive!" -_- i used to have a life i really did! i just got a cell phone, a lap top, and started learning about social media and one direction. have you ever looked all day for a song that explaines your emotion? well recently i found one, i didnt even look for it. you see, the situation is that my BEST FRIEND EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD besides kortney  MOVED AND LEFT ME WITH ALL OF THE WHITE TRASH ASS HOLES THAT GO TO MY SCHOOL! his name is Nathan Mills and he is like my brother and i havent seen him in over a month and i think im dying because he has a girl friend who is just using him to suck his face, and i told him and he doesnt either mind or belive me... her name is JD. who the fuck names their kid jd?! hes going to one of those city schools, but he loves it. Hes always been an ass hole inside. But i still love him. I never thought i could love another guy like i love my dad lincoln and kyle (ive known him all my life and he is also pretty much my brother) but Nate just walked into my life and became my best friend in the whole world. We actually became best friends this school year, but hes gone to my school sense 3rd grade, we clicked when we saw eachother after school, and i looked at him and he looked at me, and he ran into the gym so i followed and then BAM i just fell in love with my brother. LOL no no i loved him as a brother, im not romanticly involved with my brotherxD.. awh i wanna cry thinking about him leaving.. I SOBBED HARDER THEN I EVER HAVE BEFORE when he left.. i was depressed for two weeks, then i got good.. and now im bad again.. Not like bad as in i cut, no ive never done that.. sometimes i think about it, but i never have. Today i was like hmmmm about it  because im scared my moms gonna be mad at me which makes me stressed, but that doesnt have that much impact on me but ive been reading so many fan fictions where the girls cut and the guy saves her and to them cutting doesnt seem that bad... But dont worry i wont do it.... on my leg i wrote with eye liner "It didnt kill me but it never made me stronger." ed sheeran quote. ahg. im fucked up..

TTYLXOXO suck my dick ass hole